Something I miss most about our vacation Japanese toilets.
A Japanese toilet is magic. It’s a bidet. It cleans your bum. It may even dry your bum. There may be a privacy button which plays loud water sounds so that the person next to you won’t hear you handling your business.
At home we are a bidet family. Because of the covid and the panic over toilet paper we invested in the popular bidet called Tushy aka Hello Tushy. We used less toilet paper. Our bums felt cleaner. But alas, we had to leave the Tushy at our old apartment when we moved.
Costco saved us with our move. They sell BioBidet’s which are a less expensive option when compared to the Tushy prices.
The problem with using bidet’s regularly is that you want to use them regularly. But in the States, bidets are not the norm. Big Toilet Paper will not allow it! So now we’re left with feeling less clean!
As a kid my parents taught me the tabo method of cleaning my pwet. I will be honest I used to do this all the time as a kid. There was a reason the random margarine container was in the bathroom. It was our tabo. This was before Filipino grocery stores were plentiful, before Amazon started selling tabos online, before famous comedians used them as fodder for their comedy. My immigrant family was resourceful and reused margarine containers for tabos. I know I am not alone. Someone must relate to this.
As I grew older I stopped using the tabo. It wasn’t always available. I was indoctrinated by Big Toilet Paper propaganda. Cute Charmin bears. Adorable Angel Soft babies. Quilted Northern softness. And Scott…okay never really Scott. They were too boring and generic and I always thought they would hurt my bum.
All this to say, pooping in public sucks. I’ve had friends who never poop when they aren’t at home. Like they have to go home to handle their business. This feels dangerous. This is not me. I am a when you gotta go, you gotta go person. Maybe we should just have bidets everywhere. Can we make this happen in America? Can we have clean bums all the time? This is my American Dream. Will this be a dream deferred?
Sigh…Maybe I just need to go back to Japan. I heart you Japanese toilets. You are awesome and I miss you.
