Family Rosary Zoom
The first one without you
Like most Filipino American families, my family is extremely religious. I have been praying the rosary since I was in my mother’s womb. My childhood home had the Sacred Heart of Jesus watching over us in the staircase that lead to our bedrooms. My titas and titos all have religious altars in their homes with statues of the Virgin Mary, Santo Nino, and some sort of Sacred Heart of Jesus.
As a kid, my family was a part of a block rosary group. This means that a statue of the Virgin Mary would travel from home to home weekly. The family that hosted the Virgin Mary would then have to host a rosary. This rosary group included other Filipino American families that I was not related to, but they all became “Auntie/Uncle” or “Tita/Tito” “insert name here.”
As I got older the block rosary groups stopped being a regular thing in my life, but my family, continued to have monthly rosary meetings. My titas and titos would meet at one of their houses and pray for my mom, my ate, my titas and titos who have illnesses.
My mom was always the first name. They started praying monthly because of her first stroke in 2002. Prayer helped her recover. My dad would constantly pray by her side in the hospital. My titas and titos would also do the same. I would stare at white walls of her hospital room and recite prayers silently.
During Covid, rosary transitioned to zoom. As we all became somewhat proficient on the platform, these online rosary zooms became how my titas and titos stayed connected.
Initially my parents were not a part of these zooms. My dad was not a fan of zoom. He did not like the online platform. He was worried about security concerns. I would argue with him, that he should know better as a retired software engineer. The platform helped us connect. However his stubbornness would not subside. They would not join.
When he got sick on Thanksgiving 2020, things changed. An ambulance took him away, my mother, myself, my family…needed prayer. I began to host our family rosary zoom. Mom would be a part of it. This would be how I updated my family on dad’s status. This is how we would mourn my dad’s death. This is how we would continue our family prayers.
In October 2022 mom had another stroke. She would end up at a board and care facility minutes away from my home. I would visit her and host our family rosary zoom from her room. This was how her siblings could check in on her. This is how we connected.
Mom would become an ancestor in April 2023. While the transition was expected, it still hurt like hell. My family rallied around me. We prayed the rosary together. It felt odd to pray for the repose of my Mom’s soul, instead of her healing. We prayed. And then gathered together in person. Something we didn’t get to do with my dad. The mourning process gave me more closure because my family could hold space for me in person.
Today we held the first family rosary zoom…without mom. I’m happy that we gather like this still. But there’s a sadness in my heart. I wish Mom was still here. I wish she was here to ask me “Why is your hair purple?!" Why can’t you dye it a normal color? It should be black!” And I would laugh and tell her “Mom it’s because I like to do my own thing!”
We’ll continue to pray because that is how my family connects. We’ll continue to pray because that is how my family processes. We’ll continue to pray because we are the ones who made it.